The last few years have been a time of profound learning for me. The more I have become involved in the political realm, whether through work or activism, the more I have found myself asking what are the core tenets to which I adhere. What is my Guiding Star? Over time, reflection, discussion and the many experiences of life I have been drawn to one inexorable principle: nonviolence.

One of the great novelties of this principle is that while it is very much an act of positively doing, it is also the inverse of something else, violence. Nonviolence is effectively a negative negative, i.e., a positive! As I have been drawn to this Third Way, I have been increasingly drawn to its great advocates of the past and present. Those like Mohandas K Gandhi, Dorothy Day and Michael Nagler.

It has forced me to consider my words, thoughts and actions. To unlearn much of what I had previously held to be true. This has forced me to challenge my own assumptions and presumptions and therein, my prejudices.

The ongoing Fellowship Programme hosted by the Centre for Democracy and Peace Building (CDPB) has only accelerated this process. While in Oxford I was amazed at my own self-awareness to know where (or who) my prejudices are; “Well they’re from that political party, so I know what they’re going to say.” “Well I don’t like such and such, so by association I don’t like them.” What a remarkably arrogant view to take!

However, the good news is that upon leaving Oxford I did so having unlearned a great deal and began a process of discovery. The unlearning allowed me to look past the political party and see the person I was engaging with. It allowed me to drown out the arrogant little voice in my head and hear what the other was saying. This allows me to put the things I have unlearned to the side and discover something altogether new. Others can be right, and I can be wrong. In unlearning my very shallow Prejudices I have discovered a deeper, more beautiful Trust for others.

Trust is a remarkable thing. Gandhi once said of this noble simplicity, “Trust begets trust.” It is, much like nonviolence, an act of positively doing, and speaks to our better nature. It doesn’t appear out of the aether, but rather is earned. It exists on the ‘edge of chaos’, a precarious position that walks a fine line between stability and collapse, as all complex systems do.

Our Fellowship Programme has continued and we recently spent an evening learning more about Trust with Professor Mike Hardy (a founding Director of the Centre for Trust, Peace, and Social Relations at Coventry University) and Professor Karise Hutchinson of Ulster University and the Fellowship Advisory Board Vice Chair. Professor Hardy provided the most powerful depiction of horizontal and vertical trust – it is an exercise I would recommend to all in determining where your leadership lies.

This was then followed by a discussion on how to lead, trust and listen deeply with Fellowship Advisory Board Members: its Chair John Healy (Allstate NI), Owen Brennan (Executive Chair, Devenish) and Deepa Mann-Kler (Neon’s Chief Executive and Visiting Professor in Immersive Futures, Ulster University).

It was a profound evening in which I was able to take stock of what I had already unlearned and to listen more deeply to those I was learning to trust. The greatest takeaway for me on our most recent time together, came during the phenomenal input from Karise in which she outlined for us how trust is not built, but earned. This set the cogs in my head to moving; what if Trust, as Karise says is not built, but rather is earned and in turn becomes that which we build upon?

The moment of passion ignited: Even though Trust is easy to disrupt, any relationship built on Trust is already on a firmer foundation than one built on prejudice. Any relationship built on prejudice will only, to paraphrase the great Mahatma, beget prejudice.

As our Fellowship Programme continues, I can now clearly see the path upon which we are embarking and have a deeper appreciation and respect for it than I had previously. There is also a greater sense of responsibility, and desire to put everything I have into the programme. It has created a solemnity in me.

These are the figures we need to see in our society, those who lead, trust and listen deeply. I continue to be humbled and honoured to have the opportunity to be a part of this fledgling Fellowship Programme and know that not only is there much I have to learn but there is also trust which I have to earn. However, there is also much which I have to offer, and this is something I do not take lightly, and is something that uplifts me.

I am still unlearning many of my old prejudices and this is very much a process which takes time. But I am being patient with myself and honest about where these prejudices lie. I am Trusting the process and most importantly, trusting myself, safe in the knowledge that this process and the Fellowship Programme will be my Guiding Star in aiding me to become the nonviolent leader that I know is awakening within and allowing me a glimpse of the leader I want to be.

Where do we go from here? I can’t wait to find out…

Dominic O’Reilly